


Lies and Curses

by Nuraicha



Category: Muse (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Concerts, F/M, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26549044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuraicha/pseuds/Nuraicha
Summary: A journey of emotions, all during the single course of a special night in August.
Relationships: Dom Howard/Rayana Ragan (mentioned), Matt Bellamy/Dom Howard, Matt Bellamy/Elle Evans
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	Lies and Curses

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written on November 2017 for the Tea Party challenge over Museslash Dreamwidth community, and posted only [there](https://museslash.dreamwidth.org/2113802.html). Since then, as you can notice by looking at my profile, I haven't really written anymore fanfiction. However, I quite like this story and I wanted to archive it here as well, so I can share it with more people that might enjoy it.
> 
> The Tea Party prompts that I got were: honey (angst) and berries (first time); doughnuts (midnight), pancakes (hope) and flapjack (future). 
> 
> This wasn't betaed, although I think I remember someone giving it a read-through before posting. I have corrected some things myself as well, but please bear in mind I am not a native English speaker.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** All fake, I'm not making money out of this, it isn't real.

_About to hit midnight_  
  
  
“Thank you so much for playing _Glorious_ tonight, Matt!”  
  
He could swear he had heard similar sentences already, pronounced excitedly by the various men and women congregated along the barriers set to secure a safe and speedy exit from the Shepherd’s Bush Empire.  
  
Matt was still on a haze, unsure about what had transcended that night among them and their fans. He felt a high he hadn’t been on for quite a while; nights like these proved him every sacrifice they had made along the years had been worth it.  
  
Or at least, _most_ sacrifices.  
  
He was focused on the stuff he was signing and the selfies he had yet to take, but he couldn’t help but be aware of Dom’s presence behind him, on the opposite barrier. It was like a prickling thorn under his skin, now that the sweat had cooled off and the immediate adrenaline post-gig had worn off.

  
  
_One hour before midnight_

  
  
There weren’t words to describe the energy they had found that night. The power inside the connection established with the fans throughout the gig had been something they had lacked in previous occasions, and it confirmed Matt that they had made the right decision allowing them to decide which songs they were going to play.  
  
It hadn’t been the easiest concert to prepare to. They had forgotten many of the songs that were popping on the top 10, and it had meant extra work for the three of them. However, it was quite obvious that all the rehearsals had paid off and now they were ripping off on the benefits: an ecstatic crowd and a standing ovation. Matt hadn’t felt that alive in several months.  
  
Leaving the screams of the crowd behind, the three of them found themselves surrounded by a different type of enthusiasts: Tom and Dom Anderson, families and girlfriends, all with smiles plastered over their faces. And so the greetings began; Matt was hugged and congratulated by several people, until finally she made her way up to him.  
  
“Oh my god, that was incredible! Well done, my love!” Elle was on his arms, giving him barely enough time to prepare himself for the assault of her insistent lips.  
  
Matt welcomed the snog; there wasn’t anything better than to keep releasing endorphins and relieving the pent up tension after a good gig. She smelt like expensive perfume and, for a moment, he felt too sweaty and disgusting to be close to her.  
  
Someone was watching.  
  
By this point, Matt could swear he had a sort of sixth sense to detect Dom. When he unattached himself from his girlfriend, he didn't even need to turn around to confirm that he was nearby. He simply _knew_ what was coming.

  
  
_One hour after midnight_

  
  
The afterparty was raging.  
  


Matt wasn't even sure it could be called a party; after all, the number of guests was very limited and the music wasn't even at ear-deafening dance volume. However, many were already on their way to drunkenness, and everyone was reeling on the festive atmosphere of the Muse crew.  
  
Although he was radiating anguish. It was almost a miracle that no one had picked up on it. Or perhaps he had turned up to be a decent actor, and his poker face was top notch. No one had any problems trying to engage in conversation with him, except the Blondes, for obvious reasons. Matt sipped his cocktail, purposely ignoring both of them, favouring instead some wannabe top model that was insistently asking him about his life in LA.  
  
"Elle has told me that I should move for good there and continue my career in her agency. I'm already fixing everything here in order to fly there next month! Do you have any other gigs planned by then? I'd love to go!"  
  
"Nope, we have earned a break, I'm afraid. But I'll be happy to have you over! Now if you excuse me, I need to say hello to someone." Best apologising smile in place, Matt fled his seat, looking for some tranquility. He really, _really_ couldn't be arsed to make any second more of inane chit-chat with another brainless friend of Elle.  
  
Thankfully, no one got on his way to the roof terrace, and he welcomed the peace and quiet that the busy London night could provide. He leaned on the railway, observing the Thames and wondering how much he could fuck up, still after all this time. One would think that after more than twenty years he had the situation under control, right?

  
  
_Ten minutes before midnight_

  
  
She was angry. _Very_ angry. Usually she would cut him lots of slack, but tonight, for some unknown reason, she had had enough. On the outside she was all smiles and excitement, but he could see through her facade. He had fucked up; he had given her a confirmation of what she had chosen to ignore. The aftermath could be calm after the storm, or way more serious, as it had been with Kate.  
  
No, no, he was resolute not to think about the consequences. They were about to go out, on their way to the after party. And tonight, Matt was extremely excited to meet the fans and hopefully have some instant feedback about how it had gone. Neither Elle nor Dom would ruin that satisfaction.  
  
Speaking about the devil, now he was in front of him. Yeah, both of them were extremely good at pretending nothing was going on.  
  
"Hey. We gonna share the car with the girls, alright?"  
  
"Sure, mate."  
  
Matt swallowed his anger when Dom simply nodded and turned to get back to Rayana. All of this was his fault, and he wouldn't even apologise!

  
  
_One hour after midnight_

  
  
"Tonight was something else, wasn't it?"  
  
He could make an exception on the no-talking rule if it was Chris. Maybe. At least, he would give it a go.  
  
"Yes. To be honest, I thought we would fuck it up royally at some point, but miraculously that didn't happen."  
  
" _Showbiz_ was spectacular, man. We should bring it back for good." Chris leaned his back against the fence, face turned towards the sky. Matt grinned.  
  
"Definitely! Reading will be a good place for it and afterwards, we shall see."  
  
" _Easily_ was also great. I can't believe we hadn't played it before?! It won for a mile against other deep cuts!"  
  
"Yeah! It was pretty decent for being the first time, I'm satisfied with the result. We can't incorporate it to the regular setlist though, it's too obscure for the casual fans."  
  
"Aye, but we should do these club gigs more often in the future. For real, this time," he added, throwing an incisive glance at Matt.  
  
"Come on, it never seems to be the time for that anyway!" He protested, rapidly changing topic. "What are you having?" He made a grab for Chris' glass, but he dodged his hand with ease.  
  
"Virgin Bloody Mary. Stop being a child and ask things politely! Besides, you're the one always making excuses for this shit." Matt pouted, turning to face the inside of the building as Chris was doing. He refused to be treated like one of the Wolstenholme's kids.  
  
"You should have listened to Dom before; _Glorious_ was special." Chris' tone was casual, but it made Matt's skin crawl nevertheless. Stubbornly, he remained silent.  
  
Chris wouldn't have any of it; quietly, he opened the box of thunder. "What happened after the gig?"  
  
"For God's sake Chris, you bloody know what happened. What always happens, period." He didn't want to be reminded. He wanted to close the subject, get some more alcohol on his system, go to bed and forget.  
  
"She caught you red-handed, didn't she?"  
  
"Fuck. Off. Chris" Matt menaced, facing the taller man.  
  
"No, I won't! I want to help both of you, and this situation has been going long enough!"  
  
Matt scoffed; he couldn't stand Chris' patronising manners. "This only concerns me and Dom, whether you like it or not. We're fine, everything will be back to normal tomorrow."  
  
He added, tone definite and resolute.  
  
But Chris was having none of Matt's usual bullshit: "Until next time you or him need to get your cocks wet."  
  
"Stop it there!" His voice had risen and that potentially meant people getting air of what was going on, but Matt couldn't stay shut. "You can be our best friend and know us better than anyone else, but you can't possibly understand what Dom and I have," and like that, all the defenses dropped and his voice turned to a nearly-whisper: "Not even us can."  
  
That's it; Matt admitted defeat. He didn't wait to hear Chris' reply; he fled the terrace with his mind made up about returning to the hotel. All the previous excitement and happiness had become apathy and moodiness, and he had to try and save the remains of it as best as he could. The day had been perfect; the night had turned to shit.  
  
He was waiting for a cab in the hall when the person he less wanted to see made an appearance.  
  
"I think we need to talk."  
  
Matt didn't even bother to reply; he dismissed Dom with the finger and purposely turned his back on him.  
  
"Mate, come on," Dom made a move to grab Matt's shoulder, but he instantly battled away his hand, hissing:  
  
"Fuck off, Dom. You've done enough for one fucking day!"  
  
"Oh, you mean snogging the hell out of you when you also wanted that? Stop being a self conceited prick, Matt!" He retorted. "Can't we fucking speak like adults for one time in our lives?"  
  
Matt observed him; truly looked at the man in front of him. The first thing he noticed was how weary he looked; he radiated exhaustion, and not of the physical kind. Matt sighed; yes, he could also feel the same type of emotional fatigue Dom was experimenting.  
  
"See, Matt. I am tired of this continuous fights, all the drama every time we are together."  
  
Matt chuckled humourlessly, shaking his head.  
  
"Yeah, maybe we would avoid all that shit if we stopped once for all."  
  
"You have _any_ idea of how many times, repeatedly, have you said that? Or that I have, for that matter? We never stop fucking it up, Matt."  
  
An insistent claxon announced the arrival of Matt's cab. He briefly looked outside, wondering for a second what would be the best course of action. It wasn't a difficult choice.  
  
"Come with me?"

  
  
_Half an hour before midnight_

  
  
They never knew how it started. It just happened: electricity shot through their bodies, an insistent urge possessed their senses and the next thing they knew was that they were kissing each other, like it was happening in that moment. Nowadays, it often happened after the concerts, when the endorphins mixed with desire, and the most satisfying way to release them was to be together. In those situations, Matt let himself go, focused on whatever Dom wanted to give him. A snog, a blowjob, or a full shag, he felt that the only thing that really mattered it was for them to be together.  
  
That night, it was all rushed; no finesse, no discretion. Just Matt cornered against a wall in a semi-private corner and Dom fiercely attacking his lips. He felt almost overwhelmed with need, a special kind that only Dom could provoke in him.  
  
If she hadn't had such a high pitched voice, they might have not even known of Elle's presence.  
  


  
_Three hours after midnight_  
  


  
"Why were you avoiding _Glorious_ all this time? You've been a dickhead about it, you know."  
  
Matt shrugged, chugging straight from the bottle of red they were sharing. He had many replies to that question in particular, but none he really wanted to share. They had fought enough for the day, there wasn't any need to confess that, in the last years, that song had started to remind him more and more from the impossible on-and-off affair they were carrying for such a long time.  
  
"I had my reasons. But now it's done, happy now?"  
  
"I hope we can play it in the future," Dom commented, cheekily snagging the bottle from his grasp to take a swig.  
  
"Keep hoping then!"  
  
"Well, that's what is all about, isn't it? Hoping that, any day now, we will be able to get out from this mess we're in."  
  
Matt's expression remained imperturbable: "I'll explain to Elle, and things will be okay again eventually. As for Rayana, don't you worry, she won't have to know anything. It's only a kiss."  
  
"No, Matt, I don't mean this time particularly. I'm talking about us, perpetually cheating on our significant others, because we simply cannot keep apart. That's the mess we have _always_ been in, and that, for real, shouldn't keep going this way in the future."  
  
Matt outright laughed, without an once of amusement on it.  
  
"Yeah, well, good luck with that. As you said, we have been trying and nothing works. And, as we happen to be in this band together, it isn't as if we could avoid seeing each other. We already know that we won't stop doing it even if we're dating someone so, what's the solution, clever boy?"  
  
Silence followed. The dead end, the conclusion that they never could reach. They sat there, taking turns in the bottle until not a drop was left. Dom never replied the question; they never did.  
  
They both knew the answer, and none of them would go through with it.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was set on 19th August 2017, when Muse played the incredible gig at Shepherd Bush Empire <3 You can watch [Glorious here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv1kd2Re-z0&ab_channel=MuseFrance).
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!!


End file.
